Week 33: Self-Compassion Letter
This week, Tyler follows up Week 32 with a tangible exercise in self-compassion.
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Last week, I introduced a concept called self-compassion, which explored how we can become equally as compassionate towards ourselves as towards others. Utilizing the three tenants, self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness, self-compassion allows people to take a step back and evaluate difficult situations as they are rather than being overly self-critical. Self-compassion is particularly useful following failure, difficult situations or challenges. As you have probably noticed, I like to keep the newsletters relatively short so they are an easy read. There was one extra piece I had wanted to include in last week’s article, but I decided to leave it out until this week. I want to share an exercise in self-compassion that can help each of us become more self-compassionate. The Self-Compassion Letter is designed to help people overcome or prepare for difficult circumstances or failure and promotes becoming more compassionate and understanding towards oneself. If you want to learn to become more self-compassionate, or are currently struggling with something difficult, this exercise is perfect for you.
Self-Compassion Letter
Pull out a pen and paper.
I want you to think about a difficult situation that you have dealt with over the past week. I want you to describe this event in detail on your piece of paper, including what happened, who was there, the events prior to and following, and your actions/thoughts that occurred as the situation was unfolding.
I want you to now write about how others have experienced similar situations as the one you previously described above. This can include friends, family members, colleagues, or whomever else may be going through this experience. The purpose of this step is to understand common humanity, or the ability to recognize that we are not alone in what we are experiencing.
Now, I want you to write a paragraph expressing kindness, understanding, and concern towards yourself in relation to this difficult situation. Specifically, I want you to write this paragraph as though you were talking to a close friend. If your friend were going through this, what would you express to them? Writing as though you were talking to a close friend will help you to recognize people are often much harder on themselves than towards others. When we understand the type of kindness we show others, it assists us to show this same kindness towards ourselves.
Finally, I want you to start a new paragraph and describe the event in a completely objective and unemotional manner. Simply describe the event for what it is. Taking this step back allows us to become more mindful of the situation, rather than letting our emotions cloud our perceived experience of the event.
The Self-Compassion Letter teaches people how to become more self-compassionate, specifically through understanding the three tenants: Common humanity, self-kindness, and mindfulness. The more often you are able to perform this exercise, the more compassionate towards yourself you will be. It may be difficult at first, but over time you will naturally become more self-compassionate following difficult or negative situations. If you find yourself to be an overly self-critical or self-judgemental person, this exercise is right for you. We all could benefit from a little self-compassion.
Until next week,
Tyler
Twitter: tcmakepeace
Website: tylermakepeace.substack.com
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ICYMI: Check out last week’s article below!